Where's a flame thrower when you need it?

My house is a disaster area.  I need to put up some yellow tape and a quarantine sign.  I'm seriously considering calling AmVets and telling them to just take it all. 

I figured I'd blog about it rather than clean it.  I fantasize about having a week by myself to clean it all up and purge, purge, purge.  I'm getting that look in my eyes that terrifies my husband.  He gets scared when I get like this because he's sure I'm going toss out something useful like a very old (and very unused) kitchen utensil or a child.  I MIGHT get away with tossing the dog.