Our last camping trip...

You might interpret that "last" as "our most recent camping trip" although hubby is scared that what I really mean is "our final camping trip".  Let me tell you how it went down and then you can decide:

Last spring hubby started getting the camping bug.  I also caught the bug... in theory.  I just had some ground rules, the most important of which was that I absolutely will NOT go camping without an air mattress.  See, the biggest key to my mental health (and therefore my family's happiness) is sleep.  I also requested a two room tent so that I could read without waking the kids and a screen house so we could eat outside without being attacked by bugs.  Yes, I'm a wimp and I'm not ashamed.  And dear, sweet, kind hubby accommodated all of my sissy requests.

We booked a campsite at a local state park and set out one Sunday after church for a two night trip.  Here's where the fun begins.  We went out for lunch before getting to the campground and I sort of checked my brain at the door.  For some crazy reason I thought I was back in high school and I ordered the absolute greasiest item on the menu and proceeded to eat the entire thing.  I might've had the mind of a teenager, but I still had the stomach of a 30-something.  I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say I got very, very sick.

That may seem like too much information for you, but it's important you know that what happened next all happened while I was, um, running on empty so to speak.

We finally made it to the campground after several bathroom stops along the way.  After we had successfully assembled our entire campsite and started a fire in the fire pit for dinner, I headed to the bathroom.  On my way I happened to look down at our campsite number.  Funny, that's not the number I remember reserving.  That's because it wasn't our campsite.  Our campsite was the one next door.  Let me be clear: we had set up our entire campsite at the wrong spot!  Yeah, we're not very bright.

I asked the ranger if we could just stay there instead of moving, but was told no because the site we were squatting on was already reserved and the people using it would be arriving after hours and there was no way to let them know about the change.  So we picked up and moved everything and set up all over again.  Just as we were hammering in the last stake (again!), the real occupants pulled in.  In their big old RV.  We watched as the husband hopped out and plugged in a few things while his wife set up their outdoor recliners.  Boom, all set up in 3 minutes flat.

Our big, fancy tent wasn't looking so sweet right about then.

But wait! There's more!  We ate dinner and roasted our marshmallows and put the kids to bed. I crawled into my sleeping bag on my nice little air mattress with my book.  Yes, this is what camping is all about peace and quiet and... loud motorcycles.  Yes, apparently, the campsite I specifically requested for its remote location backed up to a street that motorcycle dudes with their loud mufflers like to race on.  Yippee.

I grumbled a bit, might have used the word "loser" a few times and tried to focus on my book. Except now my air mattress didn't seem so comfy.  In fact, my rear end was starting to sink to the floor.  (Nice to have confirmation that that really is the heaviest part of my body.)  Yes, there was a leak in my brand new air mattress.  

Now a more godly woman might have said, "Fiddle dee dee.  Would you look at that?  How ironic that my air mattress is the one with a leak.  Well, these things do happen."  I took a different, less delicate approach.  Things were thrown.  Amazingly my children never woke up. My extraordinarily patient husband offered his air mattress which I less than graciously turned down because I didn't want a guilt complex on top of all my irritation.  Cuz, you know, that would be the only thing for me to feel guilty about.

God was merciful to my family and after that things really started looking up (especially after a trip to Target for a new air mattress) and our second night went much better.  Except for those motorcycle goofballs, I mean enthusiasts.

However, we haven't been camping since.

Here's the crazy thing: I'm starting to get the bug again.  I think that I'll be ready to give it another go by the fall.  Did you read that, hubby?  We didn't waste all the money we spent on equipment!  Just keep me away from the onion rings when we go.