Dear Mr. Gore,
I think a message of an ecological apocalypse will only get you so far. Moms just don't have time for that kind of thing. If you want to reach the world's most powerful audience you need to make your message relevant. Case in point:
Here's a recap of our school day...
9:00 AM - Big brouhaha over seating arrangement that has been in place since we moved into the new schoolroom THREE MONTHS AGO
9:05 AM - All parties involved, still panting from the kerfuffle, sit down in their traditional seating arrangement
9:06 AM - Students and teacher bow heads in prayer asking the Lord to help us make a fresh start
9:07 AM - 9:30 AM - Continued study of gospel of Matthew in relative peace and calm (BTW, Mr. Gore, the Bible describes the real apocalypse and there's nary a mention of carbon footprints to be found. *see Revelation.)
9:31 AM - Total meltdown because misplaced markers make it impossible to complete AWANA homework right now. (I'm not naming names, but the guilty party was tall enough to ride Rockin' Roller Coaster, but not tall enough to drive.)
9:32 AM - Sibling of unnamed child went to help track down markers only to have bedroom door slammed in face.
9:33 AM - Church lets out.
10:00 AM - Child makes one last go at a tantrum over missing socks.
10:02 AM - Party of 3 depart house for a walk.
10:05 AM - Mom lags behind children to have quiet moment of prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom, patience and a quick end to the day.
10:06 AM - Mom looks up from prayer to see children cheerfully throwing sticks into a pond, beneath a beautiful blue sky.
And the rest was a pleasant day.
So, Mr. Gore, here's my tagline for you, free of charge (no carbon credits, please):
Nature. It's God's Midol for families. Take care of it.