I've been meaning to post this for a couple of days. Last week the paper ran a story entitled "What you need to know if you see a Burmese python".
Yes, pray tell, what do I need to know?
"First, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officials say they have no indication that thousands of the nuisance snakes have migrated north from the Everglades, where tens of thousands of pythons are thought to be thriving."
So glad to hear it's not thousands, but really, one ambitious Burmese python is enough for me. And good luck getting me anywhere near the Everglades now.
"Snakes spotted locally are likely to be pets dumped by owners who can no longer handle the hungry predators. Or ones who have heard all the negative publicity and decided the snakes are passe, experts say."
That's what you get for making pet purchasing decisions based on fads. Next time try the Humane Society. Homeless dogs (and even cats) never go out of style, are grateful and aren't likely to strangle you.
"On the rare occasion that a homeowner does spot a Burmese python, there are a few options, wildlife officials say.
"They may euthanize it in any way they want, as long as it's legal under local ordinances," wildlife spokesperson Pat Behnke said. "They could use a club and hit it on the head. They could use a machete."
But none of that is meant to say that state wildlife officials recommend exercising the right to dispatch the animal on your own.
"We're not encouraging people to go out and do it, but they have a right to do it, if legal," Behnke said."
Really? If I see a Burmese python, the last thing I'll be thinking about are my rights. I'd like to think I'd have the guts and to go crazy commando on it with a club, but I'm guessing I'd have to stun it with a very shrill scream before chasing it down with my van and leaving a demolition derby scene in my wake.
But I thank you for keeping me informed. Now move on to a new topic, please.