Wagon Jumping

I'd like very much to take a flying leap off the wagon I've been riding on.

Preferably big, fat bellyflop into a vat of ice cold Mountain Dew... fountain, not canned thank you very much.

Hello, my name is Lori and I'm a caffeine addict... and a functioning chocoholic.

For the past couple of years I've been on a bit of a roller coaster in the mood swing department. Now I love a good thrill ride, but this one left me nauseous and forced me to drag along two children who don't meet the height requirements and a husband with all sorts of back restrictions. Not healthy for anyone.

I'll spare you all the details, but eventually I had all the fun I could handle and hit rock bottom. The good news about rock bottom is that God is always faithful to provide a way out. In my particular case, He hooked my up with a book about the relationship between our diets and our moods. It's wan't the first time I had heard about the connection, but it was the first time the information hit home so I decided to give it a try.

The first step was the worst. It was a weeklong detox from all caffeine and refined sugars of any kind. Protein good. Oreos bad. Fruit good. Southern style sweet tea bad. Vegetables good. Dr. Pepper... sigh.

For the first four days I. Thought. I. Would. Die.

Truly. I spent a lot of time laying on my bed thinking about which limb I would trade for a Butterfinger.

But as my body started to adapt, and as the supplements I had started taking kicked in, I started to feel clarity. And more importantly, I had more energy and a much more even disposition.

I haven't had soda since May 9, with the exception a Diet Sprite fiasco on Father's Day (seriously, what's the point of that???). I confess that I added chocolate back into my diet, but on a much smaller scale. The crazy hasn't returned so I'll keep indulging in my peanut M&Ms until it does.

I've found that I can honestly handle chocolate in moderation, but soda is my achilles heal. As much as I'd love to hop in my car and get a Big Gulp right now, I know I'm a junkie who can't have just one. People have recommended caffeine-free diet soda to me, but I just don't understand it. They've sucked all the yummy goodness out of a perfectly good soda and left nothing but gross. No thank you.

Instead I'll sit on my wagon, hugging a glass of water, and thankful for deliverance from a royal pain in the fanny.

More bullet points

A few musings from the first week of the year...

• It's been cold here in the sunshine state and I mean COLD. I used to ask God why, why, why did He decide I have to live in Florida when there are much prettier places to live. I now have my answer: productivity. All I want to do in this cold (the 30's!) is sit around in stretchy pants drinking hot chocolate while I read a book.

• I bought a pair of those Skechers Shape Ups that are supposed to lift and firm and do all sorts of miraculous things to your backside just by wearing them to the grocery store to buy Oreos. I'm not sure how much rearranging they've done to my derriere, but they sure are comfy and a whole lot of ugly.

• Last night at choir we broke up into small groups for a time of prayer and I spent time praying for a woman who's husband has been out of work for a while. I prayed for continued provision, I prayed for wisdom, I prayed for encouragement and I prayed using the WRONG NAME. Many times. This dear woman was gracious, but I have felt like a heel all day long. Is there a spiritual gift in remembering names? If so, could I please have it?

• We're getting ready to tackle a major home improvement project that has been gnawing at us for years. We're ripping up the carpet in our family room and office area and putting in laminate. When we're finished we'll be a carpet-free household and I could not be more excited. We're also painting our groovy wood paneling so our currently tomb-like family room will end up being a bright, happy space. I'm seriously considering having a bonfire with the carpet. I had a bit of a panic attack today when PB and I were discussing where to relocate our furniture during the project: where will we plug in the TiVo??? We're talking about a week of TV including the return of Chuck. PB is working on a remedy.

• Rose Bowl tonight and I don't care a lick who wins, but if backed into a corner I'd say Texas because Colt McCoy seems like a nice boy. I made french onion dip for the occasion and I have to say I have a love/hate relationship with whoever decided to mix Lipton onion soup mix with sour cream. I would LOVE to eat an entire 16 oz carton in one sitting, but I HATE what it does to the lower portions of my body (see Skechers Shape Ups above).

• Last weekend the kids were at my parent's house watching Bambi and Obi Wanda started to get upset about Bambi's mom getting shot. Doc comforted her by assuring her that everything was okay because the movie was about Bambi and not his mom. I'm still struggling with that one.

That's all for now. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year (oh yeah, I'd recap ours but too much time has passed - it was nice).

Here's a great idea...

...write a blog post about how you hear voices in your head and then go blog silent for about 3 months.

Hello.

I'm back... is anyone still out there? (Hi Joan.)

And now the little cursor is blinking at me like an impatient toe tapping. As if a flood of explanations for my absence are going to roll off my fingertips.

I hear cursors talking in my head.

Let's see. Where have I been for three months? I wish I could give you an amazing story about an exciting adventure or earth shaking project that's kept me away from the computer.

But I can't.

I've just been laying low. Chilling as it were.

I started noticing that things in my life and the life of my family were on the verge of getting out of whack if I didn't get a handle on our schedule. Every year it's the same routine: a little commitment here, another little commitment there and the next thing you know I'm the crazy lady wandering in the grocery store with a mountain of brownie mix boxes muttering about not caring if my family eats croutons for dinner.

Or I just get so overwhelmed that I become withdrawn and depressed. It's not pretty.

So "simplify" became my new motto and one of the first ways I started doing that is by dramatically cutting down on my computer time. And that's been a good thing. I had the occasional guilt trip about not posting on the blog, but I have to stop answering to imaginary people. It's just not healthy.

We also decided to drop Doc's fencing lessons so now we have Monday evenings and Saturday mornings back - Woo Hoo! PB and I knew dropping the lessons were the right thing (did I ever mention he was taking the classes in the first place??), but we were nervous about Doc's reaction. When we told him he just blinked at us, said OK and got back to playing with Obi Wanda.

Overall the break proved successful until a couple of weeks ago when I hit a slump. For me there's a fine line between too much and not enough and I was leaning too far in the direction of not enough contact with the outside world.

I'm kind of an all or nothing kind of girl so God's been working on getting my pendulum to not swing quite so far.

So now I'm back.

And I joined Facebook. But that's another story and I'm not spilling it now because I've got to store up some stories while I get my mojo back.

This is happening much sooner than I had expected

Apparently I'm getting old.

I've had a sinking suspicion ever since PB and I started watching "Dancing with the Stars" this season. After about two weeks of watching it I told PB I wasn't aware that we had turned 70, and yet we kept tuning in.

And then this summer we started watching "The Mentalist". Also, I used to love reading People at my hairdresser's, but now I don't know who half those "people" are anymore.

I think I could have explained those signs away had I not started experiencing hip pain this month. The doctor's official diagnosis? Bursitis. Really? Is that really a thing most 34 year olds get??? I don't think so.

Please, please, please tell me 4:30 dinners and corrective shoes won't be next.